FAQs: Your Questions Answered
Q: How soon is too soon?
A: It is natural to want to connect with your loved ones as soon as possible, and while I have had successful readings shortly after someone has passed (and often hear from friends and family members on the day of their passing), I believe it is in the best interest of everyone involved (on both sides) to give yourself at least 3 months before scheduling a reading. This buffer allows both you and the newly departed to settle into and adjust to your new worlds, or what is often refer to as your “new normal”. Every situation is unique, and I consider grief to be like a fingerprint; each one is made up of lines and swirls, yet no two are exactly the same. A lot depends on the relationship between the departed and the bereaved. An adult child like myself, for example, who has lost a parent in their 40s or 50s (which, while difficult, is considered the “natural order of things”) may be in a very different place in the grieving process after a few weeks or months than someone of the same age who has lost a spouse or, the unthinkable, a child. In these situations, I have found that it can be very difficult to focus on the message being delivered when you are in the earliest, most profound stages of grief. The extreme emotional stress that you are under early on can also disrupt the connection during a reading, in much the same way that a random surge of energy can throw a breaker in your electrical box. For these reasons, I suggest giving yourself and your loved one time to adjust before scheduling a reading.
Q: Can you guarantee who will come through during a reading?
A: No. I do not have anyone on "speed dial" up there, nor am I in charge of who does or does not show up during a reading and you should be highly suspicious of any medium who does. That being said, more often (MUCH more often) than not, the person whom you most wish to communicate with does make an appearance. In some cases they will give me a head's up when you first contact me, in an attempt to ease your worries or fears about them coming through. This is especially true if someone is highly emotional about the decision to book a reading or has been disappointed by a past reading. The SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT piece of advice that I can give you is to trust in God, the Universe or whom/whatever you believe in to know whom you need to hear from and what you need to hear. It may not be who you think you need to hear from or maybe even who you want to hear from, but they always show up for a reason and they would not come through with a message unless it was for your good or for the greater good.
Q: Can you hear their voice or see exactly what they looked like?
A: Not unless I have seen them or heard their voice before, or if they sound like or are a dead ringer for you, someone famous, or that I know/have seen previously. The first way I am able to identify whom I am communicating with is a visual representation of a mother/father figure, husband/wife and so forth. They might also show me some identifying feature(s) such as hair color, build, facial hair or glasses. The voice that I hear is generally male or female, and fairly indistinct. If English was not their native language, or if there was something unique about their accent they will often revert back to it or try show me in this some way.
Q: How will I know that my loved one is truly present (that you are communicating with them)?
A: After the initial impressions described above, the next thing I pick up on is your loved one's personality or the part of their consciousness that survives physical death (the characteristics that made them who they were here on Earth). If there is any uncertainty about who I have on the "spirit hotline" –if you have a mother and a grandmother who you would be likely to hear from, for example– their "energy" (the way that they act and interact with me) usually clears up any confusion. I might pick up on whether they were wild and crazy or a rule follower; reserved and polite or extremely blunt; a sweet old lady or a grumpy old man. They will often give me their name or the names of others (living and/or deceased) who are important to them or to you; however, just as in life, some people are better at this than others, so I cannot guarantee that they will do so and I rely on the many other validations that they are able to share. Much of the interaction that I have with them feels like a game of charades. They act things out for me and throw in images, symbols, words, phrases and songs to help get their point across. As a language teacher I am used to translating and interpreting several languages, and "Spirit Speak" is simply a fifth language to me; one with an ever-expanding vocabulary, because I am constantly being shown new images, songs and symbols to add to the "Spirit Dictionary".
Q: How can I help to ensure that I get the most out of my reading?
A: It is perfectly fine to come in with a bit of healthy skepticism (they call it healthy for a reason!), but you must also keep an open mind. I never want to know anything in advance, but once the reading has begun, I do need confirmation when information provided from the Other Side is on point so that I know we are moving in the right direction. My goal is for your loved ones to do most of the "talking", but a simple "Yes, that makes sense," or "No, I'm not sure I understand what that means," from you is sufficient to let me know whether I need to ask them for further clarification or move on. If you sit there stone faced and never say a word because you are afraid of "giving anything away", you will impede the process and get much less out of the experience because I will spend the entire time trying to eek out more "proof" that it is them, rather than getting to any important messages of love, thanks or apology that often come after your loved one has validated their presence. Finally, the better informed you are, the better you will understand the process and what to expect, so (especially if you have never been to a medium) I urge you to read the 'What to Expect' page before your reading.
FOR MORE INFORMATION ON WHAT TO EXPECT AT A PRIVATE OR GROUP READING, GO TO THIS PAGE:
WHAT TO EXPECT